Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
