oh god the rape fog is back!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
