we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
