he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
