Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
