Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
