never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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