they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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