I don't think brook has ever known best
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
