Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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