Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
