is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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