yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
