The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
