And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize