My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We have so much sex to catch up on
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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