If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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