she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
