She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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