Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
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