put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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