I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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