well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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