whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
