Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have demons in me.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
