why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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