i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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