instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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