You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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