Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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