she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
