READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
