u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
