your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize