As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Your cock deserves a montage
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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