I didn't shave. On purpose
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
