What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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