good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
