you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
love makes seman taste better
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
