idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
