He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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