I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
