Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm both gender and math confused
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
