If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize