I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
