Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
