Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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