Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
