you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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