What did we do last night that was yellow?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize
