you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
