Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
