So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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