I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
