Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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