Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
