living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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