so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize