If i come over, it means nothing
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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